One of my many pet peeves in the realm of online dating is the staggering number of people saying stupid shit like, “I’m not changing my life, but…” As if being a square peg is a badge of honour or something.
If that’s you, here’s a serious question: What’s your problem, mate? Why are you so scared of change?
Life is ever-changing, you know. It’s all about change. We are not today who we were yesterday, and tomorrow we won’t be exactly the same as we are right this minute. Unless something flips your whole life upside down, the change will be so small it’s virtually imperceptible, but it will be there nonetheless.
Over time, each minuscule change will form clusters with other minuscule changes, and one day you’ll wake up and realise that something, some part of you, is radically different compared to “the old you.” And when you start looking around you, you’ll see that quite a lot changed while you were busy not changing your life.
We change with experience. Everything that happens to us, good or bad, forms our personality and shapes our outlook on life. For better for worse. I suppose there may be some people in this world who are so set in their ways that they never change. Maybe there are people who can meet other people without learning anything from the experience. Maybe. But I seriously doubt it.
To me, Life is a journey and I learn something each day. Every new meeting brings about something new. Sometimes I discover new things about myself – sometimes I discover something else. That’s what makes it all so exciting. Life is the magic of this existence.
Guess what? I’m kinda rigid too in some respects and have been so all my life. Especially since the day my whole life was flipped upside down and I found myself in a situation I’d never wanted to be in. And, worse, never had considered that I could end up in.
My decision at the time was to never let anyone else change the basics of my life. The foundation. Never again would I surrender the keys and driver’s seat to someone else and let them control where and how I live, where and how I work, and what I do with the years I have left. I built a wall around my family and decided not to let anyone mess with the centre of my existence. My reason for hanging in here. But of course, things change.
I have a wider and extended family and a circle of friends, and their lives are not static. Whether I like it or not, changes in their lives and living conditions will have an effect on my life too. There’s been more than one Man of the Moment who’s crossed my path. Good times have been had – bad times too – but we’ve wanted different things. I’ve always known the time will come when they have to move on, and that when they do, my life will change again. And that’s just the way things should be.
Who knows what tomorrow brings? I sure don’t, and I don’t need to. I just hope that five years from now, I’ll wake up and realise how much I have changed since I wrote this. How much my life has changed. I hope the change will have been of a positive nature, but Life being Life, I accept that that may not be the case.
Still, you will never hear me swear not to change my life, or pray for it not to change while I’m busy holding on to what I have. It’s far too exciting to go with the flow and see what lies ahead…
Love & Lust,
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Linn Lindström is a Swedish sex kitten whose curiosity once led her to attend a swingers’ party in London. Soon after, she found herself in charge of a number of chat forums, discussion groups and websites dedicated to the promotion of a safe playground for sociable sex larpers.
A diva of delight, Linn can exude a sex appeal that is off the charts. Like Freya, the goddess of love and beauty, she loves to indulge in physical sensations and anything that involves more than two senses. She is a typical Libra and may come across as cool, calm, or even aloof, but once relaxed she is incredibly playful, passionate and romantic. Though she’d never admit the latter!
Linn loves storytelling, music, Life, crafting and chocolate, and she is particularly partial to mental fireworks. She needs a lover who can make her think less and feel more, but only the brave need apply.