Book reviews are almost as important as sales to an author. I know this – I have always known this – so that means I always leave a review, right? Right? Ehhh… I wish I could tell you this is true, but for someone who’s made a living out of their ability to make shit up, I am surprisingly bad at lying about things like this.
I do write reviews, and I always mean to, but I have this problem that trips me up. More often than not, I fail to bridge the gap between thought and action, and the biggest hurdle is always criteria. How do you “judge” or assess a book? How can you even compare books? Each story stands on its own and, ideally, you’d like to think that’s enough. Yeah, I wish.
Last year, I finally managed to make myself a rating system for films and books that I watch or read for fun. For the love of stories. (There was a time I had to be see-ree-yuss about reviews as I wrote them for money, but that didn’t spark much joy in me.) Unfortunately, I soon realised my new system didn’t work as well for spicy reads. Tweaking it to make it work has been an item on my to-do-list ever since, and today is the day we finally pull it back out of the pit of doom.
Today, we’ll make a first attempt to set up review criteria for spicy and spice-adjacent reads so I can start doing for others what I wish more people would do for me. Rate, roast or romance my stories.
So, how about this?
This was a rare treat. The story hit all the right buttons, and I’ll probably read it again and remember scenes or characters for years to come. You never know, it may even influence my own spicy storytelling in the future. If this was a shag, it would be the one I’d contemplate monogamy for…
I genuinely enjoyed reading this and may re-read it at some point. The story was as well-written as it was well-told, and the characters fully-fleshed and relatable. It does exactly what it says on the tin like a really good friend with benefits.
This story delivered on its promise, and I enjoyed reading it. There may have been some things I would have liked to change, and some I didn’t really care for, but on the whole it was a positive experience. Who doesn’t like a good casual encounter?
The story was okay, I guess, but it wasn’t doing it for me. There could be a number of reasons for this, but it was most likely because I didn’t enjoy it, didn’t find the story or the characters interesting or engaging, or felt that it was poorly executed. Like one of those shags you’ve forgotten you had.
There was a start of something here that piqued my interest, but something about the execution of this story was so confusing it made my head hurt. I have questions…
Ehh, nope. Not happening. DNF!
The spiceometre runs from a honey pot to five red hot chili peppers. This is not a rating of the story as such, merely a way of telling other readers just how hot it gets. Some days sweet honey and a cosy cuddle fuck is all we need – other days, it’s full throttle and no holds barred. It’s all good, just different.
Right, there we have it. The plan. Now we just have to put it into practice. Easy peasy, right? We shall see, but at least I have a blueprint to use as some kind of reference point.
Let me know in the comments what you think of this rating system and tell me about yours if you have one. I love talking about everything books and smut, so don’t be shy.
Love & Lust,
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Linnea is a Swedish Dragon Lady of many (pen) names whose curiosity once led her to attend a party at a sex club. Suffice to say it all went tits up from there.
In 2005, Linn started Holihell as an anonymous blogger on a free dating platform. It was meant to be a funny, yet insightful, diary-style account of her dating experiences as a single woman in a new country. Little did she know that, within a year, it would become so much more than that.
Today, we have moved into a domain on the mighty Resilience where we provide a safe and sensual playground for secret smut lovers and sociable sex-larpers alike. In her blogs and books, Linn wants to give you food for thought and a little something to spice up your dreams and get your creative juices flowing. As Linn Rhinehart, aka pet, she writes sweet’n’spicy spoonie smut with her Sir Bear.
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