Be one or the other? Have one or the other? I hate having to choose! Why can’t I just be both? Have both? Or someone who could choose for me? But I digress. It swings in other ways too this either or thing. Yes, I’m a lady. I have all the qualities you would expect to find in one. Manners, education, intelligence, breeding, and the upbringing. The ability to be the perfect hostess and the perfect guest. All brains and books. I can’t even begin to imagine how frightfully boring my life would be if that was all I was. A date doll. A dinner prop.

People aren’t being honest about who they are and what they want. Puritanism and other such nonsense aside, I’ve yet to figure out why. We’re all in it for the sex, right? If “getting some” was as easy as buying a pint of milk, we’d all be hanging out down at Sainsbury’s, comparing prices, deals and quality now. Organic sex, anyone?